The World Changes and So Must I
Thought Process: Spring 2025 (Volume 2, Issue 2)
In This Issue:
Musing: The Lasting Temptations of AI
Evolving: The World Changes and So Must I
Highlighting: Sub:Culture Incorporated
Learning: Three Books That F*cked Me Up
Out & About!
Book Life: Sixth Grade Boys Love Louder Than the Lies!
Musing: The Lasting Temptations of AI
I recently found out that Louder Than the Lies is available in the LibGen database, which pirates books and makes them available for free digitally. I don’t really have feelings about this, as I’ve heard some authors consider it part of making their writing more available to the masses, and I’m new here so I dunno. But according to this report by The Atlantic, Meta also used this database to train its AI. So if your book is found in LibGen, it means your writing was used without your permission to train Meta’s AI, which not only saved the company countless dollars, but will probably help them make countless more dollars off your exploited labor without your permission. I do have feelings about this.
The article also describes that Meta first considered purchasing access to this copyrighted information, but decided it seemed “unreasonably expensive.”
This is one of the richest companies in the world. Thieves.
I have never chosen to use AI if I had a choice because it gives me the icks. If I can opt out I will opt out. Reports that it’s terrible for the environment or underpinned by workers in slave-like conditions don’t help convince me that using it for random tasks justifies the toll it takes on our environment and our society. Also, living in Silicon Valley, it feels like AI is constantly being shoved down my throat. In the 35-minute drive between my house and SFO, I swear there are at least 8 giant billboards staring down at you of random companies touting the future of AI.
For comparison, Shen Yun only has one billboard!
Friends have told me how much AI has helped them with certain tasks: planning vacation itineraries, writing grant proposals, composing dreaded work emails, even how to phrase break up texts more kindly when you’re no longer interested in seeing someone. While these uses seem far more practical and noble than the usual throwaway “see yourself as a Barbie doll/Hayao Miyazaki character” online trend or how students use it to cheat on assignments, I still don’t find these options that compelling.
But finding out that Louder Than the Lies was used to train AI was weird. I wasn’t that surprised, but was I disappointed? It’s hard to be disappointed when your expectations for an industry’s behavior are already so low. Perhaps it felt more like a confirmation that the world is how the world is. What did surprise me is how much more tempting it made AI to me.
Does this mean AI knows how to write like me? Can I ask it to “write an article about how annoying AI is in the voice of Ellie Yang Camp” and it will write this newsletter for me? Very, very tempting.
I have not used AI to write any portion of this newsletter. And fwiw I do enjoy writing this newsletter, though it is also a chore. If you would like to claim moral superiority over Meta, you may purchase a copy of my book here:
Evolving: The World Changes and So Must I
As the onslaught of daily distressing news continues, it’s hard to know how to exist in a way where I continue to live according to my convictions but am also taking care of myself enough to not be riddled with despair and anxiety. After making some intentional changes here and there, I realized that I’m am actually trying to change my general being - how I live my daily life. Here are some non-flashy changes I’ve been making behind the scenes:
Rethinking Social ME/dia
I’ve become disenchanted with social media. In the past, especially during the pandemic, I have loved how social media has connected me with others who share similar passions and are asking similar questions of life. But every time I open one of these apps now, even if it’s to check just one thing, I feel bombarded with noise and chaos and scams. It feels like being stuck at a party that is too loud and has gone on too long and my insides are shouting, “I don’t want to be here anymore!” but I still stay.
Reading about how the spread of misinformation online in Defectors and how Meta has operated in Careless People (see following section of this newsletter Three Books that F*cked Me Up) also convinced me that I needed to reduce how much I’m online as disinformation and surveillance continue to increase.
This conviction is complicated because I still need to market my book. Also, so many people I like connecting with are still active on these apps daily. So while I’m not just quitting social media cold turkey, I’m being really intentional about what I put where and how much I spend on different tasks.
To be very transparent, this means all my public @eeewhysee accounts on Instagram, Bluesky, and LinkedIn will now only post book related news and maybe some random announcements. But I will not be “creating content” for those platforms anymore. So if you follow me on Instagram and think, “Ellie only posts about her book anymore, how boring!” That is on purpose.
So where can people go if they want to hear from me beyond book marketing - like my scintillating reflections, insightful book reviews, and witty commentary??? THIS NEWSLETTER BABY!!! I’m planning to be more intentional about this newsletter and less about social media.
This is why this newsletter is extra long. I’ve saved up too many things to talk about. Sorry!
I want to acknowledge that being stuck on social media is more than just being addicted to an app. Social media affects how we interact with each other socially, connecting us and providing easy ways to stay in touch with people and causes we care about. So changing your presence on social media isn’t always just about a platform, it’s about changing your social life as it exists. So I’ve had to ask myself: How and with whom do I want to socialize with right now? What part is “work” and what is “play” and what is a mixture of both?
For me the biggest culprit is Instagram. But already, I’ve gone down from averaging over 10 hrs per week to 3 hrs per week. Nice!
Getting More Analog
When you’re trying to spend less time on your phone doomscrolling, you need to fill up that time and have something else for your hands to do.
Here are some things that are helping me:
Mini Sudoku & Word Search Books
I came upon mini Sudoku & word search booklets while I was in the magazine aisle at the grocery store. They’re small (about the size of a large cell phone) and fit easily in my purse. Now when I’m waiting in line or wanting to take a quick break - when I would usually pick up my phone and scroll mindlessly - I do sudoku or a word search. I was really bad at sudoku at first but now I love it! And it’s good for my brain and gives me something to do without having scammy things being pushed at me by an algorithm while I’m at it.
Painting
Having spent the past 5 years working on a book, many people are surprised to learn that I spent most of that time wishing I was painting. People are asking me, “So are you working on a second book?” And I’m like, “No way! I’m trying find time to paint!” I still don’t have that much time to paint, but I am happy to announce that as of last month I have finally started painting again. Hooray!
I am exercising an enormous amount of restraint by not sharing any pics of painting. It is exactly the type of thing I would have shared on social media before…See? I’m trying to change! I don’t have to share everything that’s “content worthy”!
Calling My Reps
As of last week, I’ve started building a habit of my calling my reps about how I want them to take a firmer stand in defending the rights of immigrants who have been detained by ICE without due process simply for exercising their first amendment rights or having tattoos and being from a certain country. And also reiterating how much I disagree with anyone being sent to a foreign gulag. Using the 5 Calls app has made building this habit much easier by providing scripts on what you can say. And when I don’t want to talk to a live person, I just wait until their offices are closed and leave a voicemail.
Being active on social media often makes me feel like I’m doing something when I’m not sure I actually am. It’s easy to reshare news and ways to get involved, but based on my following, I think I’m often just preaching to the choir. So I’m calling more and posting online less.
Boycotts & Trade-Ins
My household cancelled our Amazon Prime membership and have stopped shopping through Amazon. I also boycotted Target for Lent. The idea was daunting at first, but the reality hasn’t been that bad at all. Physically going to more local stores or ordering direct from certain companies kinda feels like 2008 again.
We also traded in our Tesla Model 3 for a Hyundai Ionic 6. This was perhaps the fastest we’ve ever moved on something so expensive, but we were happy with the trade-in value we got and thrilled to get it done before the tariffs were announced. And we love our new car! It’s not a secret that I’ve always hated our Tesla so getting rid of it was kind of a relief on my part haha.
Bidding Adieu to Old Selves
Also, I’ve decided it’s time to officially move on from my calligraphy business, Calligraphellie. Right before the pandemic hit, and before writing Louder Than the Lies was a thing, I had spent a lot of time revamping the website and making a new logo (even printed new business cards!) prepping to make a big push for more calligraphy jobs and teaching workshops.
Then the pandemic hit and then work on Louder began, so I put calligraphy on the back burner. Now 5 years later, I’m ready to stop shelling out money to pay for this extra website and admit to myself that I’m no longer interested in offering luxury wedding services or teaching calligraphy workshops. But it is a bit bittersweet. Calligraphellie was a real dream for me when it opened in 2016, and I learned a lot about myself through the process, but it’s time to move on from managing yet another thing.
It does bum me out, however, that I never really got to use the website in its newest iteration because I think it’s quite well-done for a calligraphy site. So if you happen have some time to waste, please visit the site before it expires in August to appreciate it before it bids adieu.
Highlighting: Sub:Culture Incorporated
Sub:Culture Incorporated is an incredible organization that provides holistic academic and social support to Black college students, including access to mental health services, academic support, financial assistance, and community connection.
I first met the founder, Tamice Spencer-Helms, when we were both selected for the Center for Justice + Renewal’s cohort for Emerging Leaders of Color. Sub:Culture Inc. was launched because Tamice learned that the Black students they were working with were facing systemic challenges that would cause things - like a broken laptop or needing car repairs - that would usually be an inconvenience for most of us, to quickly snowball into a crisis increasing the student’s risk of dropping out. Sub:Culture Inc. creates a network of support around students so that these speed bumps don’t have to turn into road blocks.
Recently, Sub:Culture Inc. has been transitioning where it gets its funding from. Evangelical institutions and individuals, who were previously very excited to support the organization, have changed their tune because Sub:Culture has refused to discriminate against queer Black students and continues to offer them support that takes their whole selves into consideration. Tamice has also been personally attacked for boldly speaking out against the many hypocrisies of white evangelicalism and the Christian far-right. (Check out Tamice’s incredible book Faith Unleavened: The Wilderness Between Trayvon Martin and George Floyd!)
I want to spread the word about Sub:Culture and its incredible work so it can find donors and allies who understand the importance of its mission and are aligned with its values of inclusivity and radical love in their support of Black college students. Please consider becoming a supporter!
Learning: Three Books That F*cked Me Up
I’ve been reading more, especially audiobooks! These three books all fascinated me and added an extra layer of unease to my existential crisis. Good times!
I’m still reading The Poet and The Silk Girl: A Memoir of Love, Imprisonment, and Protest by Satsuki Ina, but I must tell everyone about how good this book is. In this beautifully written memoir, Ina, who was born in Tule Lake Segregation Center during WWII, finally goes through her parents’ letters from the war, as well as her mother’s diary entries, with the help of a Japanese translator. What is unique about this memoir from other accounts I’ve read about this period, is that Ina is a psychotherapist who specializes in the treatment of community trauma, so as her parents’ story unfolds in “real time” through their writings, Ina’s narration provides keen commentary and insight into the larger context of what is happening, bolstered by the benefit of hindsight in observing the long term effects on their family and community. Truly deep, profound storytelling.
It’s taking me awhile to get through this book because I have to keep putting it down to catch my breath. It’s very sobering to notice the similarities to today of watching innocent people be branded as enemies and kidnapped off the street. One day they have rights, and the next day they don’t. This book contains a lot of jarring and heartbreaking truths about being an American, and I love how it so deftly and lyrically weaves the historical, personal, and present.
Lucky me, next week I get to be on a panel with Satsuki Ina, alongside other Asian American authors Karen Fang and Dr. Helen Hsu for Litquake’s History and Healing: A Celebration of AAPI Heritage Month at the San Francisco Public Library. More info & free tickets here!
In Defectors: The Rise of the Latino Far Right and What It Means for America, journalist Paola Ramos digs into the question of why Latino voters, who have generally leaned more Democrat, have increased in their far-right support in the last few years. I read this book because we all know it’s not just Latinos who have been flirting with the far-right, but certain Asian Americans as well. I wondered if this book would help me understand why this is all happening. In it, Ramos highlights three main themes that I think also apply to Asian American communities: 1) Tribalism - migration and uprooting oneself often creates a deep desire to belong, which makes people susceptible to ideologies and misinformation that create belonging through rigid (and easily definable) “us vs. them” paradigms, 2) Traditionalism - sometimes conservatism becomes equated with hanging onto your “traditional” cultural roots that are also imbedded in patriarchy and hierarchy, which gets even more complicated when religion is involved, and 3) Trauma - im/migration is trauma, and when those traumas are not properly processed in healthy ways, it’s easy to find comfort in ideologies that attack and traumatize others, especially if you feel like whatever little you have is at risk.
I could feel my blood pressure rise every time I listened to the audiobook. (Which was very good!) I also appreciated learning more about the histories, nuances, and challenges that Latino communities grapple with that are different but also parallel to the complexities many Asian American communities face. Also, the last chapter (Chapter 9) literally made me gasp. If you don’t think you’ll read this whole book, I would suggest you just read Chapter 9. It has some wild, true stories. Humans are complicated.
![Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism [Book]](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lIKM!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe2311c9f-23e4-4515-8baf-86908a76581e_1684x2560.jpeg "Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism [Book]")
Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams has already gotten lots of attention because Meta took this former Facebook exec to court trying to kill the publication of this scathing memoir. I listened to the audiobook. The first two-thirds of the book are fine if you want to hear juicy, cringey stories about Mark Zuckerberg’s awkwardness and Sheryl Sandberg’s opportunistic hypocrisy, but the last third of the book is what I found most interesting and disturbing. It divulges many of Facebook’s careless internal policies (and how it purposefully lied to Congress about these policies) on things like using user data as a selling point to advertisers who can target ads (especially to teens) when it detects that users are feeling emotionally or mentally vulnerable, how it offered the CCP access to user data to gain access to Chinese markets even though they previously refused to do this for other governments (including the U.S.), and how it has generally bred chaos during elections, destabilizing democracies and handed power to authoritarian regimes.
Learning about all these behind the scenes shenanigans only gave credence to my general impressions of Silicon Valley elite and how business in this town is done in general. And who knows what is happening now with them trying to curry the favor of our orange Extortionist-in-Chief. The nagging feeling of needing to resist and divest from these oligarchs feels even more urgent.
Out & About!
Asian Women Are Strong Conference (San Francisco)
In March, I got another chance to collaborate with two of my faves: SooJin Lee and Dr. Helen Hsu, as well as meet Ulash Thakore-Dunlap and Dr. Kyoung Mi Choi, on a panel about intergenerational healing for the AWAS Conference at the Asian Art Museum. As the non-therapist of the bunch, it’s always a honor to be invited onto these types of panels that dig into the joys and traumas of living full Asian American lives.
Also, a thrill to meet Freesia Lee, host of Worst Quality Crab Podcast, for the first time in person!
And thanks to Tony who drove all the way from Sacramento and searched for me in the hallway to sign his books. He has been gifting my book to many of his family members and certainly knew how to make this author feel special!
Pro-Library Kid Protest (Palo Alto)
My new friend Vickie Nam invited me to a pro-library, pro-diverse books kid protest at the Mitchell Park Library in Palo Alto. I showed up with a metal pot and wooden spoon to make some noise as we chanted things like “Readers are leaders, don’t ban books!”
Librarians were excited to see us there and it was even covered by the local paper. Read the full article here!
Amidst the news of anti-genocide, anti-apartheid immigrant protestors being kidnapped by ICE and detained without due process, Vickie and I had a conversation about whether or not it was safe to have this protest. We agreed that different kinds of protests carry different kinds of risk, and it’s important that we do not preemptively relinquish our basic rights out of fear. This protest was so positive and wholesome, it filled me with warmth and joy, and if people have issue with kids wanting to read diverse books and go to the library than that is some extremism that requires some banging of pots and pans.
The World’s Borough Bookshop (New York City)
Thank you to everyone who came to my book event at The World’s Borough Bookshop in Queens! I love, love, loved meeting NY-based friends and followers in-person for the first time. And a million thanks to journalist and writer Hannah Bae for being an early supporter of Louder Than the Lies, her excitement to be my conversation partner for this event really put the wind in my sails for getting it planned. Adrian Cepeda’s The World’s Borough Bookshop is a true labor of love and was the best host. I loved visiting this shop that is so intent on sharing knowledge and building strong communities.
Book Life!
Sixth Grade Boys Love Louder Than the Lies!
Last week, two separate friends living in different states messaged me that their sixth grade sons were reading my book. I find this development delightful. Please spread the word that sixth grade boys love my book LOL.
LOUDER was written for ages 14+, please beware that there are sections with heavy information (especially chapter 6!) that may be disturbing to younger readers. I suggest that parents/caregivers read the book alongside them.
Bookstore Baby!
Thanks to everyone who shared pictures of my book at different bookstores! It really makes my day! She’s looking good on the shelves of:
Books On B (Hayward, CA)
Busboys & Poets Cafe (Columbia, MD)
Asian Art Museum Gift Shop (San Francisco, CA)
Politics & Prose Bookstore (Washington, DC)
People’s Book (Takoma Park, MD)
Wow! This was a mega long newsletter! Thanks for reading! Maybe I will increase the frequency from quarterly to bi-monthly in the future…See you next time! We shall not lose hope in our collective power to heal and transform!!!
Truly,
Ellie
www.ellieyangcamp.com
I loved it all! Thank you for sharing these snapshots of life!
My oh my, you have been busy, reading, traveling, doing events, and thinking thru and rethinking all manner of important social media / digital issues and personal endeavors. Thank you for sharing all of this — so many wonderful insights, and just great to know all the cool stuff you have going on.